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you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me

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Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
9:48 am - new journal
yeah so i have a new journal.

livejournal.com/~__radioflyer__

it is friends only.
i only believe that my closest friends should be able to read what i write.

so if you are one of my good friends,
please comment and you will be added

<3
REEF

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Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
12:19 pm - immature people rock my cock!!!...(note: me being sarcastic)
Yesterday I had class from 11-1220. After, me, mitch and tiff went to the bank to visit jamie. then we went to the woodbridge shoprite to see christyna and get something to eat. at 4 i went to work until 9. it was ok i guess. broze and tiff came to chill w/ me on my break which was cool. after work, chilled with broze, mitch, and christyna. it was fun...ended up calling a bunch of people last night but they didnt pick up. i even had zuppy try. we ended up going to rahway, which was pretty cool. kinda scary, but cool. went back to broze's and just...umm hung out. then QC to go talk to kevin. he probably thought we were all fucking weird lol. dropped broze off and the rest of us went to pank. i was so fucking hungry. after that, passed the fuck out.

don't know what im doing today. all i know is that i have to clean. i should get on that.

peace.
reef

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Monday, September 20th, 2004
12:12 pm - ...
had work from 4-9. it was fun. got to work in courtesy w/ brian and steve. after work, i talked to laura and she told me what she said to kim. haha funny shit. then mitch and i left and went to QC to see kevin. then we just drove around and left notes on todd, zuppy and gozicks cars. it was fun.

today i have school from 2-5...then i am supposed to hang out w/ chaz. so we will see how that goes.

peace.
reef

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Saturday, September 18th, 2004
12:32 pm
last night i went out to dinner with my dad to a pizza place in islin (sp). it was cool. his whole town is infested with indians though which is a little crazy.

later on mitch picked me up and we went to the park to meet up with caitlin, carissa, brian, steve, jeff, anthony, shawn and danielle. it was fun. around 12:30 shawn let me drive his car to drop off carissa. he was not incapable of driving in any way, i just wanted to drive. after we dropped her off, we went to borough hall to wait for the others. chilled for a little bit longer then i went home.

saw moat, pat and russian last night :)

today i have to work 2-7 which should be fucking fun. except not at all. have no clue what im doing tonight. guess i will just have to wing it.

peace.
reef

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Thursday, September 16th, 2004
1:04 pm - the sides we take divide us from our faith and the morning dove gets caught in a telephone wire...
yesterday worked from 3-8. it was ok i guess. then chilled w/ mitch, nick and matt for a little while. i love hanging out with those boys. dropped them off at home then chilled with christina and stacie. i missed them soooo much. when we met up w/ them, stacie comes up to me crying. so i gave her a hug and tried to find out what was wrong. it was a guy but i had no idea that she was drunk. so it was pretty funny. so now it was about 2:30 in the morning and we had absolutely nothing to do. so i went online and barry and i started talking. he wanted to chillax and so did we, so we picked him up. ended up hanging w/ him for 2 hours. it was fun. i got to step foot in the infamous garage and we all went to lawrence harbor. dropped him off and passed the fuck out.

overall, it was a good night. i enjoyed chillen w/ the people i chilled w/...

anyways, today i have to clean basically my whole fucking house. should be fun and time consuming. then mitch and i said we would order pizza hut so we could see stacie. at some point today, mitch is going to want to go to QC, cause Kevin/Roy/Arthur/Matt/Anthony (haha) is there. Then later tonight, i am going out to eat w/ my dad.

yeah so i have to go so i can get this cleaning shit over w/.

peace.
reef

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Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
7:06 am
My lj wedding by chynafox
username
age
city
you will marrydontcryemoboyxx
flower girlchigsy
best mansparklemotion__
bridesmaidarzaggio
you will have your last fling with__mitch__
registrarbrokenonebyone_
secretly wants to marry you themselfempty_hands
date of the weddingFebruary 9, 2041
number of times you do it on your wedding night60
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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6:58 am
what band will you get gang-banged by?
by hulahoopwoundss
what band will fuck you (a lot)the blood brothers
date it will happenNovember 7, 2030
you will meet them ata gas station
how many STDs you catch3
money you make from the video$697,185
name
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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6:51 am
edgar and i talked last night. i mean REALLY talked. it was about damn time lol. but i got a lot of shit out that i didn't tell anyone. and it felt really good to let him know. im glad he opened up to me as well. things are getting better. they are not perfect, but better then they were. we have to finish, because i had to go home in the middle of talking w/ him...yeah so im so happy about that.


peace.
reef

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Monday, September 13th, 2004
10:47 am - updates rock my cock...oh yeah baby...
so friday night was fun as hell. went to steves and drank a whole bottle of malibu. yeah...that was a lot. i fell all over the floor. even in between kyles legs (don't ask lol). i was supposed to wait for the malibu until brian got there (we were supposed to have a shot contest), but tommy showed up so i drank w/ him. overall, the party kicked some ass. then mitch and i went to nicks house until 5:30. it was us, nick, matt b., bish, and ogrady.

saturday night, i worked from 6-10. it was ok. then went to boob's house for a little party. it was me, mitch, nick, matt, bish, ogrady, boob, greg and adam. got a little tipsy and made a fool of myself. but that is the best part of drinking hehe. left there around 3:30. mitch drove her car and i drove matt's because he was fucking gone. then we all went to QC. good night also.

last night i got out of work at 8:30. broze picked me up and we chillaxed for a while. we met up w/ zuppy and gozick. they were riding bikes and holding onto the car. funny stuff. when mitch got out at 10, we just drove around. went to QC so she could see her man lol.

yeah so today i have fucking school but only one class. even though its three hours long. but i dont have work today. so that is cool.

yeah so i am going to go. i don't really kow what else to write about.

peace.
reef

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Friday, September 10th, 2004
7:44 pm - im gonna remember to remember to forget you forgot me...
what up ganstas?????

lets see...what has been going on lately...

yesterday...me and zuppy were supposed to chillax cause we haven't in the longest time. i missed him. so it ended up being us, mitch, broze and gozick. we chilled in brozes backyard (hehe) then we all drove to middlesex around 9 for no reason at all. i love singing in the car. broze and i were fucking screaming songs out. zuppy was rapping and gozick was covering his ears. fun stuff. dropped broze off around 10 then mitch and i met up w/ gozick and zups at THE GOLDEN ARCHES lol. went home and passed the fuck out.

tonight im going to a party at steven's house. malibu is my bestest friend in the whole world!!! brian and i are supposed to have a shot contest, so we will see how that goes. yeah...should be an interesting night.

college has been going well. i really like it and my teachers are cool as hell. haha my alg 2 teacher is fucking crazy. first of all, he doesn't speak english all that well. also, he doesn't know what the hell he is doing. i have decided to write down all the insane things he says during class. the best one so far: 'this is my belief...probably i am wrong'. yeah...he is fucking mad!!!

well i am going to go. cause i still have to get ready and i was supposed to be ready a while ago. but i am lazy and extremely tired, so i am taking my sweet old time.

peace.
reef

current mood: drained

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Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
10:48 pm
here i go having to clarify myself once again, which i feel as though i shouldn't have to. this message goes out to specific people. you know who you are...

first of all, in my opinion, i haven't talked any shit. this journal is my place to vent about things that are bothering me. read if you choose to, but im not asking you to. this thing is my personal space where i can just write down anything i am feeling at the moment whether it is good or bad. writing in here about my problems makes them easier. i don't like confronting people or talking about stuff that is bothering me because i fear the person will get upset w/ me or take things the wrong way. so in order to get my problems out, i write them in here. it helps most of the time. believe me it does. but in no way am i talking shit about anyone. i honestly believe that.

next. i didn't mean for that to come out that way. i know i do have problems when it comes to guys. and i completely agree that i need to have my heart broken. maybe even more than once. when i get upset about something, i tend to make the situation larger than it is. i know this and that is immature and selfish of me. it is just that before you guys started hanging out w/ mitch and i everyday, there were never any problems, in my opinion. im not saying it is your fault, im just saying that is when it started to change. and as everyone knows, me and change...well we don't mesh well together. it just seems to me that whenever you guys are around, so is drama. i love you two to death. seriously. you guys are my close friends, but i hate drama. you two have to admit that you make problems when there is nothing wrong in the first place. sometimes it just gets to me. life is too fucking short to fight over silly things. its ridiculus.

i apoligize for anything i said that was out of line. and i know i did say some pretty bad stuff...to tell you the truth i dont know what my problem is anymore. it just seems whenever i try and make myself happy or i actually am, something happens to change it...

but also i would like to know your opinions on this situation. and let's try and be mature about it. let's talk it out....also i would like to know the real reason why you guys don't hang out or like to hang out w/ me anymore. and don't blame it on this situation, because you have been feeling this way for a while. i know it...

also, whenever i hang out w/ you guys, i sort of feel like you are both against me. i don't really know why, but it's just a feeling and it really makes me uneasy...

but we should def. talk this out, because things need to be cleared up.

peace.
reef

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Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
11:20 am - stop my mind flowing away, away...
last night, kim, jess, mitch and i went to the mall for a bit. i bought a pair of sneakers :). when we got back, we called up larry cause we haven't seen him in ages. picked him up and went to dunkin donuts, QC and wawa gas station. then chilled outside of his house w/ him and nick. yeah i love those boys and i miss seeing them every day.

today i have work from 2-6 in courtesy. i hope steven or someone i know is working w/ me. we will see...

i don't really have anything else to talk about so im going to go.

peace.
reef<3

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11:16 am
yeah...so yesterdays entry was a little crazy. i didn't mean for it to come out like that. i should have calmed down before i wrote anything. that was just me talking out of my ass because i was extremely pissed off. certain people still rub me the wrong way sometimes though. but yeah...everything is cool now, even though i still consider some people to be fucked up.


peace.
reef

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Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
5:56 pm - fuck people
all of my so-called friends are really not my friends at all. i'm done w/ each and every one of them. i'm sick of feeling like shit and that's what they do to me. it's too much work to have friends. oh well. don't worry, im not going to stop being friends w/ everyone. just a group of people. you know who you are. to those people...don't call me, don't call yourselves my friends and just leave me the fuck alone.

yeah...im pissed!!! so im going to go because i don't feel like writing anymore. i feel like beating the shit out of someone....hmm, maybe i will do that. hehe

peace.
reef

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12:33 pm
last night was pretty chill, but fun. hung out w/ broze and lys. we just drove around and talked. it was cool. dropped lys home around 10, then mitch called. me, broze and mitch went to joe's house to visit him, diego and dani. then dunkin donuts and visiting kevin. that was pretty much it.

i seriously hate girls. when i hung out w/ only guys, there was never a problem. girls are too fucking dramatic and it sucks. cause now one of my friends is mad at me, so that means i can't hang out w/ any of my other friends. she is always w/ them and she doesn't want me there. that's fun. what great fucking friends i have!

yeah so i don't know what's going down today. i text edgar to see if he wanted to chill later, but im sure he is not going to answer me. then i asked jess if she wanted to go to the mall (cause we had made plans earlier in the week), but she says kim doesn't want me to go...yeah, so i feel oh so loved by these people i call my close friends...

i have nothing else to write about really. so im going to bounce outa here.

peace.
reef

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Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
12:22 pm - for the most part...last night was good
last night me, mitch, kimmy, little one, shawn/sean and edgar went to the pool hall. i kick ass at pool. at least that's what i keep telling myself. joe called so i told him and diego to come by too. it was fun. i missed them. left there and decided to go to sandy hook. kim and i were walking into the water and the storm started to come. me, her and shawn all darted back to the cars lol. we all just sat at a picnic bench and watched the storm. then shawn and i walked down to the water and went in a little bit. we ended up standing there and just talking. that was the most i have ever heard him talk. it was cool. i feel i got to know him better. as we were walking back, some drama happened which im not really going to explain. all i'm going to say is that it was pointless, as usual. we all went to dunkin donuts and the gazebo. no one really talked at all though. mitch and i decided to leave and take a trip to QC to see kevin. he is a cool guy. and mitch thinks he is oh so sexy! went back to her house and just chilled till we fell asleep around 6:30am.

side note: i love shawn so much for letting me borrow his 311 cd.

well i have to get ready for work, which will be fun as always. that's me not being serious. i hate shoprite.

peace.
reef

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Sunday, August 29th, 2004
3:07 pm - ...
basically i've been hanging out with mitch, kimmy, little one, shawn and edgar mixed with a little bit of broze, d'angie, and jamie. it's been ok i guess.

last night chilled w/ my matt for a bit. then we picked up christyna (i missed her sooo much!), broze and lyds. drove around. dropped lyds off and went to pank to meet up w/ the rest of em. then kennedy park where we met up w/ jamie and d'angie. then it was just me, mitch, kim, jess, edgar and shawn. it's fun when shawn turns up the music and i just jam out to it. yeah...then we went to dunkin donuts then mitch and i went to her house.

i don't know. things are weird right now. i miss when it was just me, mitch, joe, edgar and diego. things were different then. things were better. now we added more people into the mix, and i'm not saying it's a bad thing, it's just weird. i liked when we would just chill at joe's house even if we had nothing to do. the people i was w/ made it fun. i never really got upset, like i do now...now i don't even talk to joe and diego anymore really. i don't even talk to edgar, and i chill w/ him every night. he has changed too. i miss the way edgar and i acted around each other before we started hanging out w/ new people. hopefully, things will go back to the way they are. they probably won't but i can hope...

yeah im done now. enough thinking about the past because it only makes me worry about the future.

peace.
reef

current mood: drained

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Friday, August 27th, 2004
9:37 am - umm...yeah, im back...
yeah so that was a short break. i figure if i have nothing interesting to write about, it is still a place to vent about shit that is bothering me. and there is a lot bothering me and making me unhappy...

i don't understand what happened to me and half my friends. it's like every few months, i hang out w/ completely different people. weird. in the beginning of the summer, it was pretty much larry/dan/bob (i think). then it was the freshman for a little. then it was edgar/joe/diego/and everyone else. now it's broze (sometimes)/jess/kim. i don't know why i keep switching around. it makes me sad :(...

also, certain people piss me off a great deal. me and one of my friends, have recently been hanging out w/ the same people but we don't speak to each other...at all. confusing? very odd. i don't like that because we usually have so much fun together. he is one of my only friends who i completely trust and we became close friends pretty fast. oh well...i guess that is going to change.

yeah so im done venting for now, because i need to go smoke a cigarette. so im going to peace out.

<3 REEF

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Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
11:54 pm - im done...with everything
yeah...so i've come to the conclusion that this journal is pointless. i have nothing to write about anymore. ever. and no one wants to read about me doing absolutely nothing. so i'm taking a break. maybe i will update when i actually have something worth writing about.

if you still want to know what i do everyday, i will let you know right now. the same thing happens all the time and it will probably continue. basically my friends and i drive around and i get depressed. i never feel like talking about it, because i don't think anyone will understand. actually i don't think i want anyone to. i don't care to share my problems, i will just keep them to myself.

i seriously think i have problems...well i guess everyone does. but it's gotten to a point where i don't know what the hell to do anymore. i think i need to see someone and get put on some sort of medication. cause i am not a pleasant person to be around, ever. not anymore at least. i have no idea what triggered it, but no matter how hard i try, i can't fix it. i don't even have the energy or willingness to do so. i just don't care anymore.

yeah so im done for a while.

peace.
reef.

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Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
3:47 pm
i've come to the realization that i am no one's best friend anymore. i feel as though all my friends are leaving me, and it wouldn't be the first time it has happened. i feel that i am going to have to start over w/ a whole new crowd. idk why and im not saying that i want to, i just having a feeling that is going to happen.

why do things have to change? why do people have to change? everything always changes when you least expect it to. and it never seems to be for the better...

oh well. life goes on.

yeah idk why im writing in her like every 5 minutes, but im bored and being bored makes me think about shit that's bothering me.

<3 REEF

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